Unpacking: May

A pixie cut, stronger workouts, and slowly feeling more like myself again

May felt like one of those months where life was trying to settle into normality again, but every now and again you’d get reminded that things still aren’t completely calm. But weirdly at the same time, it was also a month where I felt more like myself again…and I’ll take that. My routine felt stronger, and more consistent, work felt good, and something I wasn’t expecting….cutting all my hair off gave me a confidence boost I didn’t know I needed.

Honestly, I was really hoping May would just be calmer and that every month will just get more and more calm and eventually the world will be a peaceful place…who am I kidding?! That was my main hope more than anything else. No attacks, no alerts, no waking up feeling anxious or on edge. I think after the last couple of months, everyone here has been craving that feeling of just being able to properly settle back into life again without that lingering tension in the background.

I also really wanted consistency this month, especially with fitness. April ended up involving more travel than I originally expected which threw things off slightly. I was kind of annoying because once I get into a routine properly, I hate breaking it. But I also don’t regret it as I spent time with my family.

We had already pre-booked a staycation for May which I was actually really looking forward to because it felt like the perfect middle ground. You still get a break, but without the exhaustion of flights, airport stress and jet lag. Plus I can still work out in the hotel gym which, strangely, is something I now genuinely look forward to when booking hotels. A year ago I honestly never thought I’d be saying that. Another reason I was looking forward to it was to enjoy the Dubai weather! Since the war started I’ve barely enjoyed more than 10 minutes at a time outside. It was nice to just sunbathe and I finally got my tan back.

On 4th May we got our first alert again. The attacks started again but we didn’t hear anything or see anything. It was just the phone alert which we didn’t get again after this thankfully.

It was the first time hearing the alerts since the ceasefire started and honestly…I didn’t miss that sound. It’s strange how quickly your body remembers that feeling. Even hearing the alert tone instantly changes the atmosphere and your nervous system goes straight back into that heightened state again.

At the same time though, I try not to complain about the alerts because I’d much rather know what’s happening than not know. I think everyone living here feels the same way. It’s unsettling, yes, but the communication and protection here is something I’ll always be grateful for.

Aside from that, the month actually ended up feeling much more normal again, which was nice. Fitness has been really consistent and I’m genuinely seeing changes now, which makes such a difference mentally. Once you start physically seeing progress, it becomes so much easier to stay motivated.

Work has also felt good this month. Productive without feeling chaotic, which I think is the balance I’m always trying to achieve.

I CUT MY HAIR INTO A PIXIE CUT!

I thought about it for maybe a month and then just decided to do it. And I’m so glad I did!

I think sometimes you just know when you need a change. I wasn’t trying to ‘reinvent’ myself, but I just wanted to feel a bit fresher, shake things up a bit. I guess that’s something else I love about aging. I’m just doing things I love or want to try.

I absolutely love my pixie. It feels lighter, fresher, easier, and weirdly more ‘me’ than I expected.

I also did an Instagram live with my PT Jasmine which I actually really enjoyed. I haven’t done an IG live in forever because I think social media has shifted so much that lives don’t feel as common anymore, but it ended up being really nice connecting with people properly in real time.

We spoke about building muscle over 40 which is obviously something very relevant to me now at 45. And honestly, it is harder. I’m not going to sit here pretending it’s easy. Building muscle now takes consistency, effort, patience, proper nutrition, proper recovery…the whole thing.

But what I really wanted people to take away from it is that it absolutely can still be done. I think a lot of women feel like they’ve missed the boat once they hit their 40s, and you really haven’t. I definitely wish I started earlier, but it’s still one of the best things I’ve done for myself physically and mentally. And it’s genuinely never too late.

Fitness has actually been going really well this month. I’ve been consistent, feeling stronger, and finally starting to properly see visible changes which is exciting because I feel like this is the point where everything starts becoming more motivating.

I think the biggest thing I’ve learned is that going to the gym doesn’t necessarily become easier physically because you’re always pushing yourself, especially with progressive overload.

But mentally it becomes easier to stay consistent because once you start seeing results, you don’t want to stop. You become less likely to cancel workouts because you know your effort is actually paying off.

My PT also told me she wants to do a shoot with me in November which slightly terrified me because all the transformations and shoots she posts are of clients who are absolutely ripped. But at the same time, the fact she even suggested it made me realize she clearly thinks it’s achievable.

So now that’s kind of become the goal.

Which feels a bit scary but also exciting.

I think one thing I’ve noticed this month, especially since getting the pixie cut, is how genuinely difficult some people find it to give compliments.

And let me make this very clear before people misunderstand what I mean…I’m not sitting here expecting compliments from everyone I meet. That’s not what this is about at all and I actually got an overwhelming response from everyone about how great it looks.

It’s more that I find the psychology behind it really interesting. Like when someone makes a very obvious change, whether it’s hair, weight loss, an achievement, something exciting, and certain people will go out of their way to avoid acknowledging it completely. Or they’ll acknowledge it without actually saying anything nice.

For example, someone might say ‘oh…you cut your hair shorter’ but they physically cannot bring themselves to say ‘it looks nice’ or ‘it suits you.’

I find it fascinating. Because I genuinely think secure, happy people naturally say kind things to others. If I see someone looking great, I’ll say it. If someone achieves something, I’ll congratulate them. It costs nothing.

So when people struggle to do that, I always think there must be something deeper going on internally. Because it’s not normal to find kindness or compliments difficult.

It doesn’t offend me at all, by the way. I just notice it. And once you notice it, you start seeing it more.

I’ve bought quite a bit of random Zara lately because I’m trying to slowly bring more color into my wardrobe. I go through phases where everything becomes black, beige and grey…and randomly I feel desperate for color again, which in all honesty, doesn’t last long.

So far I’ve bought a lilac top which I still haven’t worn yet because I’m waiting for the right outfit combination in my head…it may never happen. I also ordered some red shorts which feels very unlike me but I actually love them…online. So let’s see if I still love them when they arrive.

And I’m currently searching for the perfect mustard oversized blazer which is weirdly harder to find than I expected.

I also ordered the Emma Grede book which still hasn’t arrived. I’m actually looking forward to reading it.

When I first cut my hair into a pixie, I had about 30 seconds of pure panic where I thought…have I completely messed this up?!

It was genuinely that horrible sinking feeling immediately afterwards where you question your life choices. And then, it disappeared almost instantly.

I styled it properly, looked at it again, and immediately knew I loved it. Now I genuinely can’t imagine not having it short.

So if you’ve been thinking about changing your hair and you’re scared…this is your sign to maybe just do it.

Honestly, not a lot right now. But I can feel myself getting into one of those moods where I suddenly want to buy things for absolutely no reason.

So by the time this newsletter goes live, there’s a very high chance I’ll have somehow convinced myself I ‘need’ multiple unnecessary things.

I’m obsessed with the new Prada Beauty liquid balms. They basically give the shine of a gloss but with the comfort and feel of a balm which honestly feels genius because I’m so over sticky lip products.

I’ve also been loving the Dior Airflash Mist. Finally Dior has made a setting spray! It sets makeup beautifully but what I really like is that it gives your skin that freshly done makeup look again throughout the day instead of making everything look dry or flat.

---

I started watching Man on Fire but gave up after episode three. I don’t know if I just wasn’t in the mood for it or if it gets better later on, but I may restart it because people keep telling me to stick with it.

What I AM obsessed with though is Dutton Ranch. Finally Beth and Rip are back and honestly…I love them.

Overall, May felt like a month of getting back to myself again. Better routine, consistency, more confidence, stronger mentally and physically, and just more settled overall.

I think after the unpredictability of the last few months, I’ve realized how much I value simple things now. Feeling calm, sleeping properly, being able to work, go to the gym, see friends, and just live normally without overthinking everything.

Life doesn’t have to be as complicated as we make it.

Until next month…

---

---

It really does help when you share my newsletters! I’m on a mission to grow The Beauty Breakfast Club community and it would mean the world if you could share this with whoever you feel could do with joining us! 🫶🏽

If you want to read about anything specific, feel free to leave a comment - I’d love a bit of inspo from you!