Unpacking: April
less on edge, more present, and a lot of family time
After how March felt, I think all I wanted was for things to feel calmer in April. Less on edge, a bit more routine, safer and just a sense that things were settling again. I was pleasantly surprised.
I didn’t go into April with any big expectations, but I definitely had a feeling of wanting things to settle. After everything that happened in March, I think I was just craving some kind of calm. I wanted to get back into a routine properly, feel less on edge, and just feel like I could go about my day without that constant underlying tension. A tension that I didn’t realize was so bad until I stopped.
I also had that usual mindset of wanting to be productive again. When things feel a bit unsettled, everything kind of gets pushed slightly out of place, so I was hoping April would be the month where I got back on top of everything. Back into filming consistently, feeling organized, getting ahead with work rather than constantly catching up.
At the same time, I didn’t fully know how realistic that was going to be. I think there was a part of me that was still a bit in that mindset from March where you’re just taking things day by day. So it wasn’t like I had a clear plan of “this is exactly how the month is going to go,” it was more that I just hoped it would feel easier.
I also knew I had my London trip coming up mid April, which I was really looking forward to. More than anything, I think I was just excited to have a change of environment and get some proper rest. I didn’t realize how much I needed that until I started thinking about it.
So overall, I think my expectation was just a calmer, more normal month. Nothing major, just feeling like myself again.
I already had this trip booked to London mid April (which I booked before the war started) and I was really looking forward to it. I think more than anything I just wanted to reset my nervous system a bit and actually sleep properly. But then Bobby decided to book us a last-minute Easter weekend to London because my family were all off work, and I think it reached a point where we were both mentally drained so couldn’t really wait until mid April. We kept the mid April trip in place and this was basically a last minute impromptu trip.
That Easter weekend ended up being one of the best. It was just full of laughter, good food, and that kind of time where you’re not really doing anything major but it feels like everything. It reminded me how much I needed that kind of break without even realizing it. There was so much chocolate! I think one of the small rooms at my sister’s place is full of easter eggs. The food was great though. The boys took charge of the roast and the rest of us ate!
When I got back to Dubai, I had just under two weeks before heading back to London again for my original trip. So those two weeks were intense. I was filming non-stop for YouTube, editing, trying to get ahead, just fully in work mode.
Then I went back to London and spent the weekend at my mum and dad’s house, and honestly it was one of my favorite weekends. One of my sisters (Anita) stayed over, my brother Raj was coming in and out because he had plans, and even though nothing big happened, it felt really special. We spent a day in Windsor just walking around, stopping for food, ice cream, cafés, nothing planned, just being together. My other sister Raveena was in New York for work so she missed out lol.
The evenings were my favorite part. We turned the TV off, put our phones down, and just cooked, ate, talked, laughed, and had a drink. It sounds simple, but it’s those moments that stay with you. I don’t really share much about my family online, but they’re a huge part of me, and being with them like that just felt really grounding and exactly what I needed.
After that, I stayed at Raveena’s house for the rest of the week as soon as she got back from New York. My brother stayed with me, and Anita had to go back to her flat in London for work, so it was a bit of a split trip, but we always make it work.
I don’t know what it was, but as soon as I got to London, I was exhausted. Like fully exhausted. I couldn’t shake it. I was just tired all the time, even when I wasn’t doing much. The first couple of days at Raveena’s were of me setting up my laptop to work while she was at work but I don’t think I actually did much. I was shattered. I think it was the come down from the war. Mix in a bit of Perimenopause and you have a complete mess. We’ll dive into Perimenopause more next time!
I don’t think I realized how mentally tired I was from the war and how my body was reacting to relaxing. You don’t realize that you’re constantly on edge and your nervous system is shot. Near the last couple of days of my trip I started to feel normal again and realized how much I needed the break. I managed to catch up with work and do exactly what I planned to do.
Coming back to Dubai, things strangely felt more normal again. I don’t know if it’s just perspective shifting or things genuinely settling, but I’m not questioning it. It feels good, and I’m just going with it.
I did actually think about cancelling my second London trip since I had just been there for Easter. Bobby was in Kenya at the time, so part of me thought what’s the point of going again. But I’m so glad I didn’t cancel. I got more time with my family, made more memories, and it just ended up being one of those trips that meant more than I expected.
I also finally got my nanoblading top-up booked in. Actually, I didn’t even book it myself. My brow tech Arti saw my brows on a reel and basically told me to come in. I had been putting it off because of the whole aftercare situation where you can’t wet them or sweat for about 10 days, which is just inconvenient for me…especially with working out. But I needed the push.
I didn’t realize how much I needed it until she did them. I LOVE them. The only part I was trying to avoid is the healing phase because they look super dark at first, so just a warning, if you see me on YouTube or Instagram looking slightly more brow heavy than usual, that’s why.
I also had my long overdue Botox appointment. This month felt like a self maintenance month. I have my botox done twice a year and it works much better for me this way rather than more frequently. I also had my teeth cleaning which I kind of dread but also so glad once it’s done.
This month has been a bit inconsistent, mainly because of the travel. It sounds simple to just go to the gym wherever you are, but it’s not always that straightforward when you’re dealing with jet lag and not having access to a proper setup.
I did what I could at my sister’s home gym, but it definitely wasn’t my usual routine. Being so exhausted in London didn’t help either because I just didn’t have the energy for it. But once I got back home, I started easing back into it and I know I’ll be fully back on track now.
I don’t actually have a rant this month. Which feels quite nice to say. I think I’m just feeling really grateful for my family and everything in my life right now. That’s where my head is at, and I’m happy to leave it there.
I bought a jigsaw, which feels very on brand for my family at this point. There’s always one on the breakfast table at my Raveena’s house and I forgot how therapeutic it is. So now I’ve got one at home.
I also bought another pair of balloon pants. I got a black pair last year and wore them so much, so I picked up a dark brown pair as well.
And I bought a pair of wedge thong sandals that I’m obsessed with. They look really good with capri pants, which I’ve been wearing a lot more of lately.
I keep coming back to the idea of cutting my hair into a pixie and I don’t know if it’s a good idea or not. A few months ago I had a bixie, which is kind of that in-between length - a hybrid of a bob and pixie, and I really liked it. It felt fresh, it was easy to manage, and it just felt a bit different.
Now that it’s grown back into more of a bob, I feel like I want to go shorter again, but this time properly commit to it. The only thing holding me back is that moment after you’ve done it where you think…have I just made a mistake? I know how much I liked the shorter style before, but a full pixie is still a bit of a jump.
At the same time, I also feel like hair grows, and I’d rather try it than keep thinking about it. So I’m kind of on the fence right now. I need opinions because I know once I decide, I’ll just do it….so I need your thoughts below!
I’m still on the hunt for a windbreaker and I can’t decide what direction to go in. I keep going back to the Saint Laurent one because it just looks really good and I know I’d love it, but then I have to be realistic with myself and ask how often I’d actually wear it. It’s one of those pieces that feels like a nice to have rather than something I’d reach for all the time.
Then there’s the COS one, which feels a lot more practical. It’s still nice, still feels put together, but it’s something I could throw on without overthinking it. I think I’m leaning more towards that kind of purchase at the moment, things that fit into my day-to-day rather than things that feel like a moment but don’t get worn enough. I need to go and try it on properly before I decide.
I’ve been loving the Rare Beauty True to Myself foundation. The coverage is really good, but it still looks like skin, which is exactly what I want right now.
The Medicube collagen night wrapping mask has also been so good. You wake up and your skin just looks better, smoother, more hydrated, just overall healthier.
I’m also loving blush at the moment. The Benefit Playtint blush is really good, it gives that soft, diffused look on the skin.
The Rhode caramelized banana peptide lip treatment is another favorite, and the Rhode Barrier Butter has been really helping my skin, especially using tretinoin regularly.
I randomly downloaded The Cleaning Lady onto my iPad for the flights, not expecting much, just something to pass the time, and I ended up watching a whole season on one flight. It’s actually really good, but not in a way where you need to sit and fully focus on every detail.
It’s the kind of show you can watch while you’re doing something else, which I’ve realized I actually prefer at the moment. After everything being quite full on recently, I don’t always want something intense that I have to concentrate on. I just want something easy that still keeps me interested. I call this ‘background tv’.
April ended up being very different to what I expected, but in a good way. I think I went into it wanting calm and routine, and while I didn’t fully get that in the way I imagined, I got something else that I probably needed more.
Spending that time with my family reminded me how important those moments are and more importantly….how lucky I am that we all enjoy each other’s company. It’s easy to get caught up in work, routines, and everything else, but those slower, more present moments are what actually stay with you. It also made me realize how much I needed a bit of a reset, even if I didn’t fully recognize it at the time.
Coming back home to Dubai and feeling that sense of normality again has been so nice. I don’t take that for granted anymore. Even small things feeling normal again feels like a big shift compared to how things felt before.
Going into next month, I think my focus is just getting back into a proper rhythm. Being consistent with work, getting back into my routine properly, and just feeling more settled day to day. Nothing extreme, just that steady, balanced feeling again, which I think is what I’ve been wanting this whole time.
Until next month…
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