There’s something that’s been bothering me more and more lately and I know I’m not the only one seeing it.
It’s this rise of creators, influencers, and even so-called experts building entire online personas that feel off. I don’t mean in the curated kind of way…I mean off in a this isn’t who you are at all in real life kind of way.
They’ll show up online with this overly polished ‘I say what I think’ vibe. But then you meet them in real life or you’ve known them in real life and it’s all so performative…they are nothing like what they show online. And that’s not me saying I prefer the online or real life version - I just thinks it’s crazy that people create different personas of themselves online versus what they’re like in real life.
I have friends (who I’ve known since I first moved to Dubai - and there are literally 1 or 2 I class as real friends) that are so in sync with they’re online presence as they are in real life. There’s no difference. They are just as opinionated in real life as they are online, just as political and just as vocal. But then there are people who seem to have an online opinion on everything from beauty standards, feminism, global conflicts…basically whatever’s trending that week…almost like they want to come across like disruptors. But in real life they are nothing like that. Like a split personality. This isn’t me picking one person - this is something I’ve noticed over time, with a handful of people.
The funny thing is…they’re silent in rooms that matter - such as industry events or networking. They’re polite and definitely not opinionated. When did it become normal to invent a persona instead of building one from who you really are?
And before someone comes at me with everyone curates online…I get it - we all choose what we share. But this goes beyond what your online curation is. This is full blown character acting. It’s performative.
In my opinion (and I’d say this online as well as in person), it’s insecurity dressed up as confidence. It’s a fear of being boring or unliked, so they create this online persona they think people will like and for attention. It’s kind of too ‘try hard’.
In reality I think It does the opposite because people can sense when it’s fake. People might double tap, but they won’t trust you. They won’t like you. And more than anything…they won’t respect you. There’s a difference between having something to say, and saying something because you think it’ll make you sound clever.
I’m not saying theres anything wrong with being opinionated or being a disrupter…but it makes more sense if it’s what you’re like in real life too. What’s really scary about people like this is that you don’t know which is the real them - you’d think it has to be the version you see in real life because that’s real life…right? What if the online version isn’t actually very nice - but the real life version is nice? What’s scary is not knowing which is the real version.
The people I respect most in this industry are the same in real life as they are online. They don’t need to be louder to be more seen. They don’t need to act like everything is a fight. They know who they are and that’s what makes them magnetic.
So if you’ve been watching someone’s online presence and thinking, this doesn’t feel real - you’re probably right. I’m a strong believer in trusting your gut. And if you’ve ever caught yourself wondering whether you should be more bold or more outspoken to be noticed, ask yourself if you would say it in a room full of people or are you just trying to be someone just to be liked?
People like real people - the kind who are secure enough not to perform.
The younger generations can’t communicate at all on a face to face level. I don’t think they know who they are. All I can say, dear Nina, is that I’m glad I’m an old lady. This world is becoming too impersonal and artificial for me.
I totally agree here. It’s the reason I only follow one person for each topic and I research the crap out of it before I hit subscribe. But most importantly I follow my intuition don’t get me wrong not following has given me regrets in life. But if the person feels off it’s because there something there that just isn’t complete truth. I’m not in social media beside this and YouTube. I learned from seeing my own friends online that a lot of them feel like they need to post something to get likes. Now a lot of them have also stopped using social media because they constantly have to look for the next like. It’s so tiring. I don’t have the energy for that. I’ve never could fake who I am. It’s just so exhausting. I don’t know how people do it.