Book of the Month: The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins

So, this month’s pick is a little different because it’s one of those books that’s been everywhere online…The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins. If you’ve been on Instagram lately, you’ve probably heard the premise in one sentence: stop trying to control everything and everyone, and just…let them.

Let them flake on plans. Let them show you who they really are. Let them do whatever they want, because it supposedly reveals the truth about them and saves you the emotional energy. Sounds so easy…except here’s the thing, I don’t totally agree with it. It actually kind of annoyed me as I was reading it.

life is messy. Relationships are messy…whether it be friendships, family, or work…it all requires effort, conversations, and sometimes (I hate to say it) but a little bit of control. Because what’s the alternative is just sitting back like a bystander while people treat you however they want. In my opinon that’s not self growth, that’s giving people a free pass to be careless and treat you however they want to.

The whole theory has stirred up a lot of opinions online. Some people find it life changing. Others, like me, think it sounds a little too ‘Instagram quote’ style, to actually work in real life. I agree that you shouldn’t spend your life trying to micromanage people. But also, healthy relationships require accountability from both sides.

The book does make some good points about conserving your energy and not fighting battles that aren’t worth it, but I think it oversimplifies how complicated life really is, into a neat little phrase that sounds great on a mug but doesn’t always play out in real life.

So, if you pick this one up, read it with a pinch of salt. There are some useful takeaways, but I wouldn’t call it a one-size-fits-all philosophy for life. And judging by the online debates, I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Have you read it? I’m curious where you stand on this one…