I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this whole ‘women empowering women’ movement - is there even still a movement? It feels like it started so long ago…all the social media posts talking about spreading awareness and how we should all support each other, but does it really happen, or is it just what people like to think they do? On the surface, it sounds so uplifting - women supporting each other, celebrating wins, and breaking down barriers together. It’s the kind of energy we need more of in the world. But lately, I’ve been wondering… are we really walking the talk? Because the more I look around, the more it feels like we’ve still got a hell of a way to go.
Take Meghan, for example. Personally, I like how she comes across - warm, intelligent, and someone who stands up for what she believes in. She’s been thrown into this insane spotlight and has had to navigate the most toxic kind of public scrutiny. The way the British press has treated her is sickening. Honestly, it’s disgusting. There’s a difference between reporting and targeting. What they’ve done is pure targeting.
What’s worse is how so many people, especially women, seem to have jumped on this hate train. Yesterday I was scrolling through Threads, and I see comments tearing her apart - this is before her Netflix series is even out! People are already saying she’ll be fake or insincere, like they’ve got her whole personality figured out from a few headlines. It’s exhausting to see, so I can’t even imagine how exhausting it is for her. Honestly, I don’t get it. Why are we so quick to assume we know someone when we’ve never even met them?
I did a bit of research (literally googling it in ways that would make you laugh) on what you call people who feel the need to comment and come across so convinced that they know the persons truth. Turns out you call them ‘armchair experts’. It’s not just with Meghan - it’s everywhere. People read a headline, watch a clip, or see a curated image and think they suddenly know everything about a person. Who’s the real fool here? Meghan, or the people believing everything the media puts out without questioning it?
And let me tell you, it’s not just celebrities. I’ve experienced this myself, even in my little corner of the internet. I get comments on my YouTube channel (99% are amazing and I’m so grateful for the support and community we have there!), and this morning I found a couple of 'armchair experts’ that had left comments. One was claiming I’m lying about my age. Try and get your head around this one… the person genuinely believes I’m pretending to be older than I actually am. Isn’t it usually the other way around? But there they are, convinced they’ve uncovered some big secret about me, based on what? It’s almost laughable, except it’s not, because it’s rooted in the same toxic habit of judging someone without knowing the first thing about them.
What gets me is how normalized this has become. We’re living in a time when we supposedly value kindness and empathy more than ever. We’ve got ‘be kind’ campaigns, mental health awareness days, and viral posts reminding us to check on our friends. But when it comes to public figures - or even people we don’t personally know, so many of us throw all that out the window.
And let’s be real: women face this so much more than men…mostly because it’s women doing it to each other. I don’t even think I’ve heard a man comment on Meghan or even bitch so badly about another woman. I’m sure it happens, but the fact most posts are by women isn’t anything to be proud of.
With Meghan, it’s like she can’t win. She steps back from royal duties to protect her mental health and family? She’s a diva. She stays quiet and doesn’t respond to the hate? She’s cold and calculated. She shares her story? She’s fake and manipulative. It’s exhausting to watch, and I can’t imagine how it must feel to live it.
I can’t help but wonder…what if we just… didn’t do this? What if we stopped tearing people down based on assumptions and instead extended a little grace? Because the truth is, we don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors. We don’t know what someone’s day-to-day life looks like, how they’re feeling, or what they’re dealing with.
Whether it’s Meghan, or anyone else, the reality is that none of us are perfect. We all have our moments, and that’s okay. But to judge someone so brutally, without even knowing them, says a lot more about the person doing the judging than the one being judged.
So, here’s my thought….let’s try to do better. Let’s stop assuming we know the whole story. People forget that words have a lot of weight, and they can hurt more deeply than we realize. It’s sad that I truly believe this will literally stay just a thought…it’s a shame that I can guarantee that I’ll still end up coming across posts of women hating on other women.
With love (and a bit of frustration), Nina x
I agree. If you are secure with yourself, you don't need to tell people you don't like them, nor do you need to tell others what you think about anyone else. Speaking to people directly and privately is best. If they aren't in your circle and don't touch your life, aren't your reasons for disliking them actually about you? What does your opinion about them reflect about you?
Yes yes I agree. There is a reason I left social media years ago before everything was blowing up. I really give props to celebrities these days. They have to put their whole life out there like a piece of raw meat and they can’t please everyone it’s beyond me. People are great on a face to face level. They will never say what they just posted on a thread. Having to express your thoughts without consequences is so liberating these days that people forget how to have manners. I remember going down that little rabbit hole myself and I found myself saying things to strangers online that I would not say to their face and I’m one of the most blunt people I know to your face. I only have YouTube and I hardly ever look at comments because you can easily go down that hole. If I would have seen that comment on lying about your age I would have reacted not too kindly. I just don’t know why we just love breaking each other apart. If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say it at all. I have seen some videos that I don’t like or just that I didn’t enjoy but I never insult the creative who made it. I just don’t watch anymore. Problem solved. Everyone has something to say even when they don’t. Who knew.