I’ve never been someone who chases every PR relationship. In this industry there’s a certain way of doing things…being really friendly, staying in touch all the time, making sure you’re always on someone’s radar. I’ve never been great at that, and honestly I’ve never wanted to be. It hasn’t been without a cost though, so I thought I’d talk about both sides of it.
I want to be fair about this. PRs are a big part of how this industry works, and plenty of the ones I’ve worked with are lovely. This isn’t about them, it’s just about how I choose to work, and I’d rather be honest about the good and the bad.
I’m friendly, I’m professional, and I reply to people. What I don’t do is turn it up to stay in someone’s good books. That means no OTT friendliness that just feels unnatural to me, no constant check-ins, and no acting keener than I really am. Some people in this industry do that really well. It just isn’t me, and it doesn’t feel genuine when I try.
I believe the work should do the talking. Skill, real influence and real numbers, meaning the impact you actually have on the people who watch and trust you, should matter more than how good you are at keeping everyone happy. I’m also an introvert (I know…surprising right?!), and it takes me a while to open up and trust people. I’m a typical Cancer. If I forced a friendship before it was real, it would show. Trust me…it would.
If you don’t know me, I can come across as reserved and I’ve been told even a bit cold. It isn’t actually coldness though, I just take a bit longer to warm up and for a long time have been pretty cautious of people. Once someone’s been kind to me, I’m kind right back, and those relationships end up being the strongest ones I’ve got. Not everyone has the time to wait for that, and I totally get it.
“I’d rather have fewer relationships that are real than lots that are performed.”
Below is the honest part, which is what it’s actually cost me, what it hasn’t, and where I draw the line, and that’s for paid subscribers.
