How to figure out your style

My uncomplicated approach to stylish comfort

Photo by Alyssa Strohmann on Unsplash

So you might remember that I mentioned in my first newsletter that I would be covering a variety of topics within this publication. You may not currently associate me with genres such as fashion and style. The reason I separate the two is because Fashion is for me based on trends (I may be wrong, and again, disclaimer: I’m no fashion expert; I’m just trying to cover a topic that I'm passionate about and interested in), and style is for me separate from Fashion because it’s how you dress yourself, it’s your style, and it’s how you dress your personality.

I’ll be covering topics such as food, travel, and obviously, beauty. Food because it’s something I love and a big part of my life; travel because I do so much of it and it’s such a core part of my business; and lastly, beauty because it’s in my DNA. It’s what I’ve always done and what I’ve always loved.

So let’s talk about style. I’ve always been good at dressing myself and have gotten a fair amount of comments or compliments over the years about my style. I definitely don’t follow trends religiously, but I do notice them, and if I see anything that fits my style, I am happy to adopt it. However, I don’t pick everything that’s on trend because if I don’t like it and I know it won’t suit me or my body type, then I’m not interested in wearing it just because everyone else is.

Back in the day, if you opened my wardrobe, all you would see was black. I never really wore color, and I remember coming to a point where I tried to become a little more adventurous by adding some color to my wardrobe. It didn’t work. I think the mistake I made was to go from black to colors like red, orange, and yellow. I think at that point in time, I was still figuring out my style and coming into my own. I hated the attention those bright colors brought along with them. Eventually I figured out my style, don’t get me wrong, I still love black, but I also love neutrals. If you were to open my wardrobe today, you would find the majority being neutrals; I’m talking beige... a lot of beige, earthy browns, greys, and then the minority being black.

Comfort is just so important to me. If I don’t feel comfortable in what I’m wearing, then I quite obviously don’t look comfortable. That’s what I really want to share within my publication: finding your style and being comfortable. It’s really about what makes you feel good. I still have the odd few pieces in my wardrobe that, to me, are clearly not comfortable to wear, but on the odd occasion I pluck up the courage to wear them, mostly to step outside of my comfort zone and be experimental. But it doesn’t take long after putting that outfit on for me to realize just how much being physically uncomfortable in a piece of clothing can really impact how I come across to others. And then I spent the rest of the evening wondering why I had made such a stupid decision.

This is why I want you to think about what you feel comfortable wearing. Let’s be honest, for a lot of us, it’s not only about comfort; it’s also about how we portray ourselves, and there’s nothing wrong with that. If you care about how you come across to others, then that’s fine; this isn’t a place where you’re going to be judged. This is a place for transparency and realness. Yes, I want to be comfortable in the clothes that I’m wearing, but I also want to look somewhat stylish, for my outfit to be flattering on my body type, and on top of that, I do care about how I somewhat look to others. Not enough that it defines me or takes over my choices, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care how I come across.

I want you to try this exercise for me. Have a notepad and pen ready near your wardrobe, and for five days I want you to pick the outfits that you feel most comfortable in. Forget about how you may look to anyone else; forget about everything else; just pick the clothes that you feel comfortable in on a daily basis and write down what you wore each day. At the end of each day, I also want you to write down next to each outfit how it made you feel after wearing it. For the majority of the day, how did you feel? Were you conscious of how you came across to others? Did you think it wasn’t stylish enough? Did you feel like you wanted to be more on trend, or did you feel 100% comfortable in every way? If you had the odd day where you felt either it wasn’t stylish enough or you wanted it to be a little more on trend, or maybe you felt you just looked really undone (even though you felt comfortable), then next to the outfit, draw a little star. Now do the exercise again the following week, but this time, in the outfit that has a star next to it, replace one item of clothing with something that cancels out the negative feelings you felt that day. For example, if you felt one of your outfits could have been a little more stylish, think about swapping one piece of clothing for something a bit more on trend, or it could be something as simple as changing your hairstyle and adding some trending jewelry. I personally do this, and it’s a game changer. If I have a super comfortable outfit yet I know it isn’t necessarily on trend, I add trending jewelry and do a low slick bun, add the right type of shoes (again, trending), and all of a sudden your comfortable outfit looks way more stylish and on trend. Let me know how you get along with this exercise. It worked for me, so hopefully it will work for you too.