Finally taking fitness seriously

Getting on track with food and fitness isn't easy, but if you have the right mindset and influence, you can slowly but surely turn it around.

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

When it comes to fitness, I haven’t exactly been the best. I was a previous yo-yo dieter, and when I think back to that time, I laughably thought my fitness was pretty good. Up until my late 20s, I had always been slim with a relatively flat stomach and didn’t even think anything of it because, well, that was my body and that’s how it had always been; it never really gave me confidence issues or made me pay much attention to it.

I never had to work out at the gym, and to be honest, during that time, social media wasn’t really around to inform us about the benefits of fitness. I could literally eat whatever I wanted and not put on weight. I remember finishing high school around 3 p.m., and the minute I got home, I would make myself a full-blown meal. I’m talking potato waffles grilled with melting cheese all over them and a side of baked beans. Then, a few hours later, I would have dinner and probably dessert. I didn’t even know what calories were.

When I think back to that time, my lack of awareness about food and what goes into my body is astonishing. The only thing I’m proud of when it comes to my relationship with food when I was younger is that I was never a lover of fizzy drinks or juices. I always stuck to water, and that’s carried through the years with me to this day.

As soon as I hit my 30s, it was literally like an overnight transformation - and not a good one. When I used to hear sayings such as 'one day I looked in the mirror and my body looked different' I would think that was such an exaggeration. Who wouldn’t notice a change in their body? You don’t just wake up and all of a sudden see a massive difference in the way you look.

Well, I am telling you right now that that is exactly what happened. I cannot stress to you enough that I am the first person to question wild statements or accusations. Truthfully, it seemed like an overnight transformation. I vividly remember looking in the mirror and thinking, What the hell has happened to my body?

I don’t think the change I noticed overnight was purely down to years of eating whatever I wanted; I also think it was about what I was going through in life at that time. It wasn’t a good time in my life, and being an emotional eater, I clearly turned to food as a way to cope with a failing marriage and everything that was going on in my life at that point. After years of building up the courage to finally commit to divorce, I plunged into bad food to cope with the emotional distress.

After a little while, I started taking a bit more care about what I put into my body, and although I wasn’t as knowledgeable on health and fitness back then as I am today, I was still as careful as I could be about what I ate. But during that time, I still don’t think I really prioritized myself when it came to my overall health and fitness. Instead, I threw myself into my career so I could prove to myself that I didn’t need anyone.

If I think back to my priority back then, it was definitely my career. As much as I must’ve lost a little bit of weight during that time, I don’t think it was because of a good relationship with food. I think it was because I had such an unhealthy lifestyle. I was working all of the time and remember being up very late in my room with my laptop, trying to finally put myself first and make something of myself, which ultimately also helped to rebuild my confidence in myself, but it took its toll on my weight.

Fast forward a few years, and I met my now-husband, who is my best friend, the love of my life, and my rock. Even after we got married, our diet wasn't great. I’ve always loved baking and feeding people, so at the beginning of our marriage, I was doing a lot of that, and unfortunately for my husband, he also reaped the consequences of my love for food. Once we moved to Dubai, it got even worse. Anyone who lives in Dubai knows that the food here is on another level. And on top of that, add the convenience of ordering anything you want, whenever you want.

It’s only over the last five years that my husband and I have decided enough is enough and we need to do something about this. We engaged with a fitness trainer who also offered nutritional advice. I won’t go into detail, but the person further ruined our relationship with food due to the very limited amount of calories we were put on. It was ridiculous; we were weighing literally everything, down to the amount of butter or condiments we would use. And our diet consisted of mostly bland chicken, some broccoli, and rice. Did we lose weight? Yes, of course we did, but we were also very unhappy. As soon as we disengaged with the nutritionist, the weight just piled back on.

In a nutshell, since then, our weight has been up and down; we’ve had great months, and then we’ve just ended up back at square one. This was a vicious cycle for around a year. Four months ago, we hired a fitness trainer after thorough research, and it’s been the best decision we've ever made. We told him our backstory and explained that we wanted to lose fat, build muscle, and still be able to enjoy food on a realistic amount of calories that was sustainable. He was very honest with us and explained that, to begin with, he would keep our calories high because he really wanted to figure out our bodies and see what a few weeks of eating normally meant to us. It was during this time that I realized just how bad my relationship with food was. When he told us to eat normal, we literally didn’t know what eating normal was because for so long we were either in a major calorie deficit or we were bingeing. There was no middle ground for us, so this was in itself a major wake-up call.

After a few weeks of eating normal, which was basically eating whatever we wanted to, our trainer put us on a realistic calorie consumption plan so that he could build us back up to a normal level before putting us in a slight calorie deficit. He also explained to us that we shouldn’t expect overnight results and that if we were really serious about this, we needed to understand that this would be beneficial for us in the long run. I'll be honest, I wasn’t seeing any results within the first three months, but I stuck with it because I knew we had to almost reprogram our bodies to get to a healthy place.

We’re now on our third month with our trainer, and this is the first time I’ve seen a difference in the shape of my body. I’m definitely not where I want to be yet, but I know I’m on the right track, and I feel healthier and stronger than ever. Our trainer has taught us not to ridicule the number the scale shows us but rather to focus on what we’re happy with when we look in the mirror. We still do weekly weigh-ins with him, which is more so for him than for us. Over the past four months, I have lost fat, increased muscle, and clearly look better in the pictures he makes us take on a weekly basis; however, the number on the scale isn’t much different than when I first started.

Somehow, during this whole process with our new trainer, I’m obsessing less about my weight and more about becoming stronger. If there was one thing that I wish I had started way earlier in my life, it would be going to the gym and working out, but it’s never too late. My relationship with food is the best that it’s ever been; I still get to enjoy the foods that I like in moderation, and I don’t feel restricted at all.

I’ve heard the term ‘listen to your body’ a lot, and when I was at my highest weight, I used to eat thinking I was listening to my body, but now that I look back, I realize sometimes when you think you know what your body needs, you might be wrong. I had to retrain my mind and body to want the right things in order to be healthy. Ultimately, I want a long and healthy life, and the only one who can give that to me is myself. If you're stuck in a rut, I hope this shows that even after years of yo-yo dieting and being unhealthy, you can still reevaluate and restart to get on track to a healthier and happier you.