46, But Mentally Still 35

I turned 46 last month, and honestly, I don’t feel how I thought I’d feel at this age.

I don’t know what I expected 46 to feel like, but it wasn’t this. I think when you’re younger, anything over 40 sounds…let’s just say, very grown up. Like you’re supposed to have everything figured out, have a completely different mindset, make sensible decisions all the time, and feel like a completely different version of yourself.

I do feel different…but in a good way. Mentally, I still feel about 35, and I don’t mean physically fit or being able to do all the things I did at 35. I mean, I still feel ambitious, I still feel excited about things, I still want to grow, look after myself, try new things, make more money, build more, travel more, improve more, and become the best version of myself. I don’t feel like I’m winding down. If anything, I feel like I’m becoming much more focused.

The funny thing is, your mind can still feel young while your body starts sending you little reminders that you’re not exactly 30 anymore! This is the part that’s been the most strange for me.

I can feel completely like myself, then randomly I’ll forget a word mid-sentence. Not even a complicated word. A normal everyday word that I absolutely know, but in that moment my brain just decides it’s not available. I’ll be trying to explain something and the word is there somewhere, but it won’t come out. It’s so frustrating because mentally I don’t feel slow or old. I feel sharp, but then my brain does this random thing and I’m like, okay, thanks for that.

Then there are the random body things. I’ll have the ball of my foot hurting for no obvious reason, or a random weak knee that appears out of nowhere and makes me feel like my body has decided to give up for a few days. The joys of Perimenopause.